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3 Steps to Better Self Care

Have you ever felt that you were in a rut? Like truly, a rut! When I think of a rut, I think of an old covered wagon, filled with a family, trying to get through the prairie to their destination. The place they have all their hopes and dreams realized. Where life if good, and successful, and memories are made. But the driver has allowed the wheel to get into a rut. Of course, for the wheel to be in a rut, it means that someone else has gone before, and the space has been worn down. More than likely, someone else has been stuck there. You might be thinking, why is Jennifer talking about Covered Wagons in a post titled 3 Steps to Better Self-Care? Just bear with me.

Living in a Rut

So, the rut in the ground that the wheel is now stuck in, has not only been traveled by many others, but others have also gotten stuck in them. That is where the hope comes in for this prairie family stuck in the middle of nowhere. The families that have been stuck in the rut in the past, are no longer there. That proves, that when a wagon is in a rut, with effort, it can get out. This is where the message is relevant to us. When we are in a rut, we need to realize that others have been there as well, and they got out. We are not alone in this journey. They worked until they were free of the rut, and then made it to their destination. We can too!

I found myself in a rut!

Last month I found myself in a rut. A deep well-worn rut. But not a rut I had ever been in before, and when I realized it, I cried. In fact, I cried, and cried, and cried (I will stop there for brevity’s sake but could go on indefinitely). I cried most of the month. First off, no one ever plans to be in a rut. Right? I certainly didn’t calendar out my year with a plan for a month of rut living, but that is where I was. So, after all the crying, I made a plan to get out. To stop living in, and making my home in the well-worn rut, but to be like the others who got out, and made their way to a better place.

So, to Backtrack a Bit

To backtrack a bit, I will let you know that I injured my knee in late December and was required to sit for six weeks. Then in late February I caught the flu. I was sick for over a month with fever and chills, and then another few weeks getting back to normal. I learned during these months that I don’t do well sitting, doing very little and sleeping through sickness for months. It’s not me, I think it is probably no one’s vision of a perfect life. My housekeeping fell by the wayside, my exercise and movement was put on hold, and I didn’t really read, study, learn or think any more than I was required by just regular everyday needs. It was really devastating to me, and as time progressed, I felt more and more stuck in that rut.

We are not Alone in this Journey

But then, I decided that I was not going to take up permanent residence in the rut. I would not make it my destination. Why, because I was going to do the work it would take to get out. I made a list of things that were bothering me the most (that I have control over). Next, I put action steps next to each item with the first task that I would need to take to move forward. And finally, I wrote down what my destination looked like. For our settlers in the prairie scenario, they may have seen pictures, or read about where they were going, but really did not have the internet to show them what it would be like. But I know what makes me feel peaceful, and so I wrote out my goals.

Everyone’s Rut Looks Different

Because everyone’s ruts look different, everyone’s lists look different. But I thought I would share my personal list, in hopes that it helps you to start building your list. Also, you might think, “Hey wait, why is she talking about working on her home, this is a self-care post”. Well that is simple. When my home feels good, I feel good. Sometimes Self-Care is taking care of where you live, so that when you relax, you truly relax. When my life feels good, I have more to give to those I love so much.

3 Steps to Better Self-Care

Make a List of What is Bothering You the Most and Why

Body

Lose 50 Pounds – So I can fit into 4 suitcases of amazing closes I currently don’t fit into.

Gain Back Physical Mobility lost from injury- I want to be able to easily move to do basic yard work and play with my granddaughter and niece.

Build Endurance- I want to be able to do the things I love for hours at a time and not get exhausted.

Mind

Graduate- Finish my bachelor’s degree by October 2019- I am ready to finish.

Read- Go back to reading a different book each month- I really enjoyed doing this in the past, and I want that feeling again. I LOVE learning.

Take Care of My Heart- Stop Negative Self Talk. I know what a negative impact it has on my heart, mind, and body, as well as my available energy for those I take care of.

Home

Declutter- Reduce the items in my home by an additional 30% by the end of summer. This will make it easier to clean and live in my home.

Set the Table- Do this at least twice a month, it makes me happy to love those around me.

Make it feel like Home- Reduce the presence of clutter and increase décor and memories. I love having pictures up, and other little touches.

3 Steps to Better Self-Care

Write out One Action for Each Item

Next, I wrote an action step for each item on my list. I often find that writing out what we want is the easy part, taking action is where it gets more difficult. So, by writing out a to do list of next steps, I was putting action to my desires. It looked like this:

Body

Start a new eating plan- I talked with my Dr who recommended intermittent fasting and Keto eating. I set a date and started.

Talk to Dr about mobility options- My Dr prescribed 12 weeks of physical therapy, and I called that same day to schedule my first appointment.

Move More, at every opportunity- This is very vague, but it basically means, if I can get the towels out of the dryer and fold them, instead of asking someone else, I should. If I can park one space further away, I should. When I have the opportunity to plan the weekend, plan time swimming at the lake, instead of sitting at the movie theater.

Mind

Complete at least one hour of course work a day, and work as many hours as possible when I can.

Put my Book In a Convenient Place- Basically, next to my chair. I read my Bible every day, so I put the additional book next to it. It is easy to go from my devotional time to reading my monthly book. I also arranged a shelf in my room with a specific path of books I want to read through. I mixed technical, fiction, historical, etc.

Commit to stop listening to negative self-talk- This is really the hardest of them all, but I have read a few great blog posts on the topic as well. When I start telling myself a list of why I am not enough, I combat it with a list of why I am.

Home

Declutter every day, every opportunity- I both calendared in time to declutter, and also committed to doing it every extra minute. Like cleaning out a drawer while my coffee is heating up. Spending time with family, helping them declutter and talking over memories.

Keep the Table clear of clutter, all the time. Period.

Schedule in sending digital photos to the printer- That is always the first step but filtering through thousands of pictures is where I get hung up. But, if I want a “homier” home, I need more family pictures.

3 Steps to Better Self-Care

Build a Mind Map or Vision Board of the Finish Line

This could take on many different forms. But for me, it was simple. I am a list maker, I love lists. So I wrote out a list of how I will feel, when each of these things occur or come to completion. If you enjoy making vision boards, it would be great to put pictures from the items on your list, and build a board including the look and feel you want to achieve. Basically, your destination once you have done the work to get out of the rut. It could be a picture, a plan, a mind map. Whatever makes you remember multiple times a day where you are headed. You could even make it the wall paper on your phone or laptop.

Notice One Important Thing…

Notice one important thing. With the exception of paying for the Dr, Physical Therapy, and College, I am not purchasing anything. I find that when I talk with people who are working to get out of a rut, the first step seems to always be that they purchased a calendar, an organizer, storage bins, workout clothes, new makeup, etc, etc. Now, I am not saying that purchasing something is wrong, so please don’t think that I am saying that. I am just saying that I think that sometimes when we are in a rut, we jump online, or run to the mall, purchase something to help us out of the rut, and then come home feeling satiated. As if that first action step of buying something will get us out of the rut.

But it does not. If this were the case, we would all be out of the rut instantly. I am just suggesting here that if it is at all possible, don’t have your action step be to buy something, but rather to do something. You will feel much more successful and be much more likely to continue the path if you do something rather than buy something. And of course, let’s say your action step is to workout. And you successfully do it for a week or two, then sure, reward yourself with new active wear. Just let the success come first from your action, and not your buying.

3 Steps to Better Self-Care

I am feeling successful already

I have to say that so far, I am feeling quite successful and achieving the first steps on my action list and am now working on the second step. Each time I complete an action step, I list the next step. This helps my mind to know, I am not out of the rut yet, but am working my way out. I feel pretty good. I am writing this post from my chair with my leg up, covered in ice, because I had my first physical therapy session today. If you have endured physical therapy before, you know it can be a bit painful. But with each wince of pain, I reminded myself, it is not easy to get out of a rut, but so worth it. And that is what I hope for myself, and for you too!

So, what rut do you find yourself in right now? What is your first action step to get out of the rut? Wishing you the best!

If you are looking for more ideas on Decluttering, check out this post on 5 Areas to Reduce so You Have More to Give.

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