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I have been working on cleaning my closet out for the last week or two. You would think by that statement that I have a large closet, but that it is not the case. I have a small closet. It is about the size of a small coat closet. It has some nice storage overhead, and I stuff the bottom full of a laundry basket and lots of things needing to be stored. I also use the inside of the door for my shoe rack. So, for a pretty small closet, I can store a lot of items. But the reason that it has taken me two weeks to clean it out is because of the memories that are held inside, and truly my desire to hold on to them.

Cleaning Out My Closet

I started in the usual way

I started my cleaning with easy things like old bags, toys that I stored for the kids, and crystal that I don’t often use. That was very easy to get through. Then I started to sort through clothes that did not fit. Clothes that would never fit (dream clothes), and clothes that I really wanted to keep. I did the typical sorting process of throw away, give away, and keep. I also kept an under- the- bed bin available to store out of season items and clothes that were only one size too small…..yes, I am currently dieting!

These were all very easy items to dispose of, but the memory clothes not so much. For instance, the dress that I purchased that I thought I could look so chic in! My plan was to sit at my desk, blogging away in this large pink shell with a pair of black leggings and a cup of yummy coffee! I was going to look and feel amazing. Only thing is, I looked like a pink sausage in it. Don’t worry, I am not being hard on myself, my sister confirmed that I looked like a sausage and she said I had to throw it out. So, I donated it.

Then there was that old formal

Then, there was the old formal. The last formal that I ever purchased, and I wore it about 20 years ago. It is horribly out of style, but I was keeping it to remind myself that at some point I did dress up! It was hard, but then I saw the possibilities. I could convert its’ red fluffiness into beautiful princess dresses for my granddaughter and niece. Okay, that was not too bad, it’s gone now too!

My Grandparents

Then, it became more significantly difficult. I have had two special sweaters for the last 30 years. The sweaters that belonged to my grandparents who passed away 30 years ago. My grandmother’s nice white sweater. The perfect thing to put on so that you don’t “catch a chill” as she would say. And my grandfather’s flannel jacket. He wore this type of jacket when he would go and surprise someone by mowing their lawn or take us to the Marina to do a little fishing.

I just like knowing that they are there.

Both sweaters hold too many memories to let go of. In fact, if you put your face in the sweaters, you can still smell their house, really their home, you can still smell them. Their love, their joy for living, their commitment to each other and to our family. So, yes, I am keeping those. Even though my closet is way too small, I am allowing myself to hold on to those two pieces of clothing that I will never wear. I think I just like knowing they are there.

Finally, I needed to pull out my favorite sweatshirt of all time. Years ago, when my two oldest children were young, I decided to be a stay at home mom for a few years. I wanted to be there with my kids every day, homeschool them, and take them to their soccer games and figure skating lessons. It was not the easiest of times, as I am a single mom, and money was very tight.

Life as a stay at home Mom.

I was blessed to share a home with my mom who was a widow. She helped with both homeschooling and finances and even went back to work as a substitute teacher to supplement the family income. As many stay at home moms do, I would shop on the day when the grocery store marked down the meats, bread, and produce. I would coupon, and we almost always ate from home and I always purchased clothes from the clearance rack and made most of their costumes from scratch.

It is funny now as my kids don’t remember the time we did not have very much money. I worked very hard to make them feel secure, and my mom and I only discussed finances when they were outside or asleep. It was a really good time, but often very stressful financially.

My Mom and Kids at the Ice Rink

The Birthday present that meant so much

One year, my Mom took my kids to the Fashion Bug store to purchase a gift for my birthday. On the clearance rack, they found a blue fleece sweatshirt. It had a plastic snow globe with a snow scene inside of it. The price was only $5. The kids brought it home, wrapped it up, and I remember the pride on their faces as they presented me with the birthday gift. They were certain that I would love it, and I did! It was a great sweatshirt, and very comfortable for long mornings in the ice rink watching their lessons. But truly, it was the thought and care, the pride on their faces, and the love behind the gift that meant the most to me.

Cleaning Out My Closet

So, yes, I have tried to get rid of the sweatshirt for years. It is threadbare. The once glorious snow globe is now peeling off and somewhat distorted. It is 3 sizes too big. I have not worn it in years, but still, in my closet it stays. I have talked of throwing it away. Talked of donating it to a thrift store. Or maybe making it into a winter pillow. I think my granddaughter and niece would love to see the snowman inside the globe.

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But now it is clean and organized

When all is said and done, my closet is clean, well- organized now, and so much easier to plan outfits from. Yes, I still have 3 memories hanging inside the closet. Maybe I will make some amazing pillows with them, or maybe I will just keep those three things tucked away to look at and reminisce on next year when I clean out my closet again. To think of different times, and different places, and overwhelmingly, how loved I am and have always been.

And, as I head into the next gift-buying season, I will remember the things that matter most, my dear family and friends. I won’t work so hard to purchase so many expensive gifts. In fact, I will work to be the person my grandparents were. Always ready with a hug and encouraging word, and to ready to step in and help those in need. And I will also remember to be like my kids, who only had $5.00. Yet, they purchased a well thought out sweatshirt for their momma, who to this day cherishes the thought behind it.

Figure Skating!

Looking for more help on cleaning out your closet or giving?

If you are looking to clean out some things that need cleaning, check out my post on Spring Cleaning Here. Or, if you are looking to give, but finances make it difficult, check out this post on why we don’t have money to give, and this post on how to give when money is tight.

What are the things you hold onto when you clean out your closet? And, what is your most favorite gift to hang onto?

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Cleaning Out My Closet