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Recently I had the privilege of helping a friend out. But, as I type that sentence, I know that” friend” is far too common a word. Truly, I am talking about helping out a dear mentor, who changed my life in so many positive ways, and made me want to be better than I was, strive for more, and look for the possibilities. Truly, Ruth was my first mentor.

Without Ruth, I would not exist!

I met Ruth at birth, or rather soon after. Years before, Ruth and my Mother were young teachers just starting out. As the story goes, one day Ruth was driving down the freeway, and thought, “Linda, Ira”. She set my parents up on a blind date, and 6 months later they were married. A few years later, my brother was born, and then, after a few more years, I came along.

Ruth and My Mom at my Granddaughter’s First Birthday Party.

My first memories of Ruth are at the Lab pool. It was a huge Olympic sized pool. I remember sitting on the steps in the shallow end and talking to Ruth about bathing suits. In my mind, she had a blue and red swimsuit with a white skirt. It always made me think of Wonder Woman. She told me years later that she never owned a bathing suit that looked like Wonder Woman, but that is what happens in a child’s mind.

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Sometimes after Ruth went on long trips back East, she would invite me over to help her unpack. She had a huge bright pink, hardside suitcase. I had never seen anything like it. She would tell me about her trip, the travel, and show me various items she had brought back. I remember being amazed at what an organized traveler Ruth was. She had travel shampoos, and jewelry cases, really everything you would need for a long trip.

 Visiting Ruth’s house was always a treat!

I loved going to Ruth’s home as there was always a sense of calm peace to me. Her home was always well- organized and clean. I was always impressed by many things in Ruth’s home, but I think my favorite was the canister of Brach’s candy in the pantry cupboard. I always thought it was so funny to have a large canister of candy. Every now and then, Ruth would bring out the canister, and offer everyone some candy. I thought this was amazing but probably was just normal hospitality.

Ruth- My Mentor, My Friend

Ruth was the Mother to two sons, and no daughters. My brother and I would often play with her boys, but sometimes I would just hang out with Ruth. We would talk about life, I would brush her long hair with a big blue comb, and we would sometimes make cards or do art together. As a kid, I thought it was so much fun. I felt very important.

 My First Job

When I was twelve, Ruth gave me my first job. She was a Special Education Teacher in a  nearby town. So, a couple times a year, Ruth would pick me up, drive to the next town, and I would get to work for a Saturday. Ruth would give me a pile of papers that needed duplicates to use with the students. I would go to the paper closet at the school and set up shop. First, I would make the Ditto copy, and then I would roll the paper through the mimeograph machine. Rolling, and rolling.

To this day, I love the smell of copies because I remember the important work I would do making the copies. As I worked, I would think about Ruth using the copies to teach the students special skills like reading, writing, and math. It was all very exciting to a twelve year- old.

 We would take a lunch break….

Then, we would take a lunch break and Ruth would take me to McDonald’s. We would eat inside which was something that my family never did. And, we would order Big Mac’s. Truthfully, I had never had a Big Mac. I thought it was a very grown-up thing to do. We would sit at one of the booths talking about life, teaching, working, and school. I loved those lunches more than I can express in a blog post. At the time, the lunches made me feel like I could conquer the world.

The Big Mac!

We would then go back to the school, and I would go back and make more copies. After all of the copies were finished, I would go into Ruth’s classroom where she would have been working on various projects. Ruth would give me a collection of items, and I would go to work dressing her bulletin boards. Again, this seemed like very important work. Occasionally Ruth would guide me if I went too far astray with my designs, but often she would just stand back and congratulate me on a job well done.

After the day was finished, we would head to the car and drive home. We would chat about everything in the world during the half-hour drive, and Ruth would tell me she would need me again in a few months. Being twelve and hearing that a teacher needs you to help them is amazing. I felt very valued. When we would arrive home, Ruth would hand me a check. I remember the first time I thought I must have moved up seriously in the world if people were now giving me checks!

 A New Job…

A few years later Ruth asked if I would help in her summer school special day class. I was elated!!! Ruth would pick me up each day during summer school, and take me to the Bagel Bin that was close to our home. We would each pick out a bagel for breakfast, and one to eat on the ride home.

My Mom and Ruth at my Brother’s 40’th Birthday Celebration.

Once we arrived at the school, I would get started at my tasks, arranging papers or books for the day, and preparing for the songs. Ruth would often let me lead the learning songs that we would sing with the class in the morning. She told me that I did a great job with the singing and keeping the kids focused.

Later in the day I would sit one on one with students and help as they worked through their reading books. Since this was a special day class, most of the students had a great deal of difficulty with reading. This work was fairly challenging. I used tips and tricks that Ruth and her aide Mrs. O, shared to help the children have as much success as possible each day.

 I was allowed to manage the Reward System!

I also was allowed to help with the reward system. Ruth had little cards that the kids would put stickers on when they accomplished various tasks. On Friday’s they could shop in the class “store” for various prizes. I loved this work!!!! It was all quite formal, and I felt very special to be given the responsibility of managing this process. Sometimes, Ruth would take me to a store called Boswells to help select items for the class store. I truly loved this!

Helping in the classroom went on a for a few summers, and I enjoyed it so very much. I learned so much from Ruth about having a strong work ethic, working well with others, and completing tasks in order to keep the classroom organized. It would be great if, at this moment in the story, I said that I became a teacher and owe it all to Ruth. But that is not the story.

 So, you might think I became a teacher…

I never became a teacher, but my life was changed by working with Ruth. For instance, when I went to get my first few jobs, I had a reference to use. And, since Ruth had not only taught me so many things, but gave me positive feedback for my successes, I felt confident that she would give me a solid reference, and that my work ethic would prove to be good for future employers. This was invaluable to me in two ways.

Ruth, My Mentor, My Friend

First, I felt very confident that I could do a job because I had successfully completed the jobs that Ruth gave me and she had communicated this clearly to me. Second, and rather more important, I learned how to mentor others. As my life progressed and was involved with various youth groups, jobs, and companies, I saw value in mentoring others, because I knew the positive effect, Ruth’s influence in my life had made.

 Flash forward 30 years

As I mentioned, I recently helped Ruth move out of her home. I helped clear the remaining items from her home and memories flooded through my mind. So many laughs, so many good memories, and so much learning. When the day was over, and I drove out of the driveway, I must admit, I burst into tears. My daughter asked why I was crying as we had had a very successful day. I was crying for so many reasons.

First, I was driving away for the last time from a home that was such an important part of my childhood. From playing with the boys to visiting with Ruth to the ever-present Candy Canister. When we drove away from the house, we drove away from any future memories there. I was also crying because change is hard. But, mostly, I was crying because I was so thankful that Ruth took the time to be a part of my life. To guide me, to share stories, and to make an impact.

Kids in a Classroom

As the tears began to subside, stories swam through my mind. Memories that had long been put away surfaced, and I took a long and very happy walk down memory lane. Movies that Ruth and I had watched together, concerts that my brother and I went to with Ruth, and all of the life tips that I had gleaned from Ruth over a lifetime of knowing her.

 Time moves on, but the impact lasts forever.

Once I visited many of the memories in my mind, I started to think about the people I have mentored, and who I have yet to mentor. Mentoring can be a formalized program that mentors and proteges sign up for, but more often than not, mentoring is a regular person, taking the time, to change the life of another person for the positive. I don’t think mentors always set out to mentor someone as it often organically occurs. But, I believe it would happen more often, if we looked for opportunities, to take an ordinary acquaintance or interaction, and turn it into a life-changing relationship.

I am thankful that I had the opportunity to help Ruth in a small way because of her many years of helping and growing me, as well as being my dear friend. Look around, see who is in your life, and how you can make their life more than it is now. To read more about some of the people who have impacted my life, check out my posts on my Mom and Dad.

Who are your greatest mentors? And do you currently work to mentor others? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Mentorship