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Have You Ever Had One Of Those Days?

Have you ever had one of those days? You know where you want to run away. Or, maybe something much less drastic, like wanting to stay in bed and scroll on Facebook. Or, just get in the car and go to the movies. A grown-up movie that would be boring to almost anyone other than yourself. I can answer yes to all those questions. In fact, I can answer yes to all those questions at least a few times a year! On those days, I don’t do any of those things. In fact, I do the opposite. Lately it has been top of mind for me, so I thought I would share my thoughts on Serving Your Family, Even when You Don’t Want To!

Serving Your Family, Even When You Don’t Want To!

So, this week has been one of those weeks. I have been thinking about writing this post for a while, but this week really tipped me over the edge. So, in case you are feeling the same way, we can take a moment and commensurate with each other. All my children are 18 and over, with my last daughter graduating this year! I am so very excited that I will be 4 out of 4 for getting my kids through school! But, even with the success, sometimes there are challenges.

We Face Some Challenges…

My 19-year-old son is Autistic and faces some of the challenges that come along with Autism. Although he is high functioning, he does not always understand good choices, what is best for himself, and how he can get himself into trouble. So, my son made a few choices that he did not really understand and got himself into serious medical and legal trouble. I won’t share all of the details at this point, but it broke my already fragile mothers’ heart. This came during the same week where we are still finding ourselves refrigerator free, with a kitchen and living room filled with tile and half torn apart from our latest project. School and work pressures mounting, and having family visiting.

Serving Your Family, Even When You Don’t Want To!

Normally, I can handle a lot of stress, and could probably have better handled this last week, but mostly I went back and forth between being very strong, and weeping. I don’t know if you have ever been in this type of mood, but if you have, please know I am praying for you. You need it, and I am glad to pray for you. I know that I too have people praying for me.

The Catalyst

The catalyst for this week’s turning point was when I was making dinner on Saturday. We only had 11 people which is our normal family gathering, but with all the building supplies and the week of stress with my Autistic son, I probably was not facing the day with all of the positive resolve I needed. I had made roasted chicken and was baking potatoes to cut up and fry. I thought it would be a quick and easy dinner.

A family member brought raw Asparagus and I saw it sitting on the counter. And truthfully, I didn’t want to do anything with it. I certainly didn’t want to do all the work needed to make Asparagus properly. Don’t get me wrong,  I was truly thankful for the Asparagus because most of our family loves it and we don’t have it very often. So, I sat down amid kids doing art projects, and men joking around loudly, and stared at the Asparagus.

Serving Your Family, Even When You Don’t Want To!

I am not a very rebellious person. In fact, I am one of the least rebellious people I know, but when my frame of mind is not in its proper perspective, I have been known to be a bit rebellious. I was simply not going to make the Asparagus. End of story.

But Then My Heart Changed

Then, my Mom walked through the room. My Mom is not young, and she is less able than when she was younger. She loves Asparagus. Well, properly prepared Asparagus. I have talked about Love Languages before and you can read more in this post. My Love Language is Acts of Service so that is how I show love to those around me. I looked at my Mom again, walked over to the Asparagus and spent the next half hour snapping the stalks, paring the small triangles off the sides, and ensuring they were in really good shape. Then I soaked them and prepared a pot of boiling water. I placed some olive oil, salt, and pepper in the water, dropped the prepared Asparagus into the water and cooked them for a few minutes.

Serving Your Family, Even When You Don’t Want To!

Everyone loved the Asparagus, and my Mom loved the care that had been put into them. And I remembered, that when I choose to serve my family, even when I don’t feel like it, even when it has been a hard day or week or month or year, I feel blessed. I feel refreshed, restored, and useful.

I have too Much on My Plate Sometimes!

As women we often have a lot on our plates. We are often tasked with cooking and cleaning, taking care of children whether they are young or grown. We typically are in charge of the laundry, and the shopping, and the mending, and calling for appointments. And it is really tiring if we don’t focus on our mission, and instead focus on our feelings.

I have found over the years, that any work that I undertake for my family typically goes better if I have the mindset that I am blessing my family. For instance, I am going to pare the Asparagus to bless my Mom. I am going to be in charge of all the appointments that an Autistic child has, dealing with all of the agencies, and issues because it is my joy to be his parent. I am going to choose to enjoy listening to the details of one of my family members challenges, because I love them and choose to serve them with joy.

Serving Your Family, Even When You Don’t Want To!

Do I feel this way every single day, with every single task? NO. Do I remind myself often that I feel better, serve better, and bless my family more when I am choosing to bless them instead of doing things because no one else did them. YES! I love the scripture that says, “Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance”. It is found in James 1:2-4.

Now you might be thinking, “Hey lady, I can’t take any more trials!!!! I don’t want any more endurance!!! And I don’t feel any Joy!!! Trust me my friends, I get it! Prior to taking on the Asparagus, I was feeling the same way. But, when I chose to take my time to lovingly take care of each Asparagus, and to do it with joy as a blessing, my mindset changed. And every task I did for the rest of the day was made easier. I had chosen to bless my family and achieved it with the silly well pared Asparagus.

“But I Do Try!”

You might be ready to say, “I try to bless my family, but they don’t even notice”! I understand. I am there with you. Sometimes caring for a family is a thankless job. In those seasons, take notes. Don’t take notes of who did not say Thanks Mom! Take notes of what you have done to bless your family. Kind of a blessing journal. Write out in a journal what you did during the day. Not as a list to throw at those who are not thankful, but to remind yourself that you are in a season of blessing your family, you are good at it, and you are a huge blessing to those around you. And then go about blessing those you love.

Trust me, it will bless you to see how much you do each day, to bless those you love. You can also write into the journal a few amazing things about yourself, like how you are a loving Mom, wife, and friend. Write that you look amazing today because you got dressed in a cute outfit to bless your family, and how cool it is that you are living out your purpose for this season of life. Maybe sometimes even include a note to self that you are awesome at spinning plates, and juggling schedules.

Serving Your Family, Even When You Don’t Want To!

Your Family Desperately Needs You

In the difficult moments, remember that your family desperately needs you. You are the only you out there! You were made for this, and they need you! I have been working with my Autistic son on building life skills. My greatest fear is what will happen to him when I die. I asked him during one of our times working on skills what he will do when I die. His response was that he thinks he will die too. And he was not being a smart mouth. He literally cannot imagine his life without me, because he is so dependent on me, and trusts that I will help him through everything from simple phone calls, to helping him understand emotional concepts.

This of course crushed my heart as a Mom, but it also really made me think about how much our families depend on us as Moms. The reason they depend on us so much is because we are awesome at what we do. We are not perfect, but most of the time, we are a huge blessing to our families and whether they say it or not, they see and feel it.

Face it Moms, only you can serve your family and hand out blessings best. Your family was put together for a reason. You are the only you that they will ever have, and ever need. This week, sit back, take a breath, and then get to blessing.

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